Putting American tourists back on track

By guest columnist Cleland Thom

Confession. I don’t help American tourists who are lost on the London tube network. I just tell them to check the map.

I heartlessly ignore the fact they are already staring blankly at a map which they’re holding upside down.

But after a week using New York’s metro, I’ve repented.

I couldn’t even work out which direction to travel. And it didn’t matter which train I boarded: they all went to the wrong place.

Why name stations after streets if all you know is you want to visit the Empire State Building?

Friendly New York commuters gave me directions to my hotel five days in a row. But I arrived at a different station every day.

It was nice to have a hotel surrounded by stations … if you knew how to get from one to the other. Which I didn’t.

So now, if American tourists ask for my help in London, I’ll happily oblige.
Provided I’m not lost.